Buckley Jeppson and Michael Kessler were legally married in Canada. Now Buckley faces excommunication from his church.
Buckley and Michael wanted to be married for several years. They did not feel that Vermont's Civil Union was sufficient, in that it did not grant full marriage equality to same-sex couples. They planned to travel to Massachusetts as soon as the courts demanded marriage licenses to be issued to all couples, but Governor Mitt Romney (ironically also a Mormon) used his executive power to deny marriage licenses to same-sex couples living outside the state.
So Buckley and Michael made the decision to travel to Canada to be legally wed. They gathered the paperwork, hired an attorney in Toronto to assist with the authentication of the papers with the Province of Ontario, and waited for weeks for the permission to arrive. The paperwork finally arrived and the couple flew to Toronto, where they were married in Toronto City Hall on August 27, 2004. Mike's parents flew in from Florida and stood as their witnesses. The civil ceremony was attended by Toronto-area friends and another who flew from Houston to celebrate with them. In the fall, they were given a rousing wedding reception attended by family members, friends, and coworkers.
Wouldn't a commitment ceremony be sufficient? Unlike a commitment ceremony, marriage is a legally recognized institution bearing rights and responsibilities. Both Buckley and Michael believe that marriage equality is a right that belongs to everyone. As the courts have stated in many other civil rights cases, separate is not equal. It had to be marriage or nothing. They deserve the same treatment, rights, and respect as their married brothers and sisters.
Buckley's commitment to his Church is life-long. He was raised a Mormon, served in the Church throughout his youth, served a mission in South America, and was married in the Los Angeles Temple. His three brothers served missions and married in the temple, as did his sister. His service to the Church has included responsibilities as branch president, Gospel Doctrine teacher, elder's quorum teacher, elders' quorum presidency and instructor, high priests' group leadership and instructor, seminary teacher, and in two bishoprics.
After his separation from his wife of over 25 years, Buckley moved to Washington, DC, where he has attended his local branch (congregation) as an openly gay man for over eight years. His branch and its leaders have universally been kind and welcoming. He has hosted missionaries for dinner, and the apartment he shares with Mike serves as a safe and welcome oasis as they do their teaching rounds.
What has changed? In the late summer of 2005 two branches in Washington, DC, were combined to form the Washington DC 3rd Ward, and a new bishop, Ross Davidson, was brought in from outside the ward boundaries to lead the congregation. After a few weeks, the new bishop called Buckley into his office after services for a discussion. He expressed his disapproval of the "lifestyle" Buckley had “chosen.” He said it was his duty to report him to the stake president, Nolan Archibald. That was the first indication that Buckley was not welcome in full fellowship any longer and that the integrity of his family was in jeopardy. See the Chronology for the latest status of the case.
Why is this case important? To our knowledge, this is the first time the Mormon spouse of a legally married same-sex couple is faced with excommunication. The implications for the LDS Church and for other gay couples are huge. Pres. Archibald has taken the unheard-of step of giving Buckley the opportunity to resign his membership rather than face a Church disciplinary council. In fact, he has offered that option three times. The Church is aware that the publicity stirred up by this case will be harmful to its image and would prefer to avoid the glare of the light of day by having Buckley resign and go away quietly.
Why not just resign from the Church? Buckley describes the situation: "I feel I have been forced to the edge of a cliff, where I stand holding hands with my husband, my daughter and her husband and our granddaughter, our ancestors, and gay Mormons who are being shunned throughout the world. I will not leap off the cliff, denying my heritage and my faith, to save the Church from embarrassment. The Church is going to have to push me and live with the consequences of their decision—in this life and in the afterlife to come."
In his March 3 letter to President Archibald, Buckley wrote:
You asked me this evening why I wanted to be a member of a church that was so disapproving of my relationship. That question stung me hard because it so demonstrated your lack of understanding of the strength of my faith. I explained that being a member of the Church is not like belonging to a club. It is my history, my family heritage, my testimony, and the faith to which I have devoted the last 58 years of my life. I have prayed, fasted, and studied for decades, just as you have, and feel that my petitions to my Heavenly Father about my life and its direction are answered regularly. . . . That’s how seriously I take my membership and my covenants.
What does Buckley want? He says, "I just want to be true to my faith, worship quietly and peacefully in a place that is safe. I don't ask the Church to change its doctrines or practices. I just want us to be left alone again."
Outcomes and implications. Buckley has repeatedly asked for the case to be dropped so he and his family can get on with their lives. This continues to be his plea. That request has been repeatedly denied. If the case continues to go forward, Buckley will be excommunicated. Excommunication means:
- Buckley's name will be removed from the records of the Mormon Church.
- He will not be allowed to partake of the sacrament (communion).
- He cannot pray in church, speak, teach, or otherwise participate in church services. He may only attend meetings.
- He cannot tithe to the Church or donate to its charities.
- He cannot serve as a Home Teacher, ministering to and serving families within his ward.
- He cannot use his ordained priesthood powers to bless his family, including participating in the blessing and naming of his first grandchild in April.
- He cannot enter to worship in Mormon temples. That means he cannot attend family weddings.
- He cannot say he is a Mormon.
- When he dies, he cannot be buried in traditional white temple clothing.
- The sacred ordinances that he participated in, that bind him to his family members, ancestors, and progenitors for all eternity, are severed.
Implications. It isn't just about Buckley and Mike's family. It will be a sad signal to other gay Mormon married couples that their families are not accepted as legitimate and never will be. This goes for couples married in Massachusetts, Canada, The Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, South Africa, and the countries that are marching toward full marriage equality. It is also a sign that the Church does not recognize all marriages conferred by many sovereign nations and is, by extension, immune from the civil laws of those countries with which it disagrees.
For more about Buckley and Michael, their stories, their family, and their blog visit www.BuckandMike.com.
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