Buckley Jeppson and Michael Kessler were legally married in Canada.
Now Buckley faces excommunication from
his church.
Buckley and Michael wanted to be married for
several years. They did not feel that Vermont's Civil Union was
sufficient, in that it did not grant full marriage equality to
same-sex couples. They planned to travel to Massachusetts as soon as
the courts demanded marriage licenses to be issued to all
couples, but Governor Mitt Romney (ironically also a Mormon) used
his executive power to deny marriage licenses to same-sex couples living
outside the state.
So Buckley and Michael made the decision to travel
to Canada to be legally wed. They gathered the paperwork, hired
an attorney in Toronto to assist with the authentication of the
papers with the Province of Ontario, and waited for weeks for the
permission to arrive. The paperwork finally arrived and the couple
flew to Toronto, where they were married in Toronto City Hall on
August 27, 2004. Mike's parents flew in from Florida and stood as
their witnesses. The civil ceremony was attended by Toronto-area
friends and another who flew from Houston to celebrate with them. In
the fall, they were given a rousing wedding reception attended by
family members, friends, and coworkers.
Wouldn't a commitment ceremony be sufficient?
Unlike a commitment ceremony, marriage is a legally recognized
institution bearing rights and responsibilities. Both Buckley and
Michael believe that marriage equality is a right that belongs to
everyone. As the courts have stated in many other civil rights cases, separate is not equal.
It had to be marriage or nothing. They deserve the same treatment,
rights, and respect as their married brothers and sisters.
Buckley's commitment to his Church is
life-long. He was raised a Mormon, served
in the Church throughout his youth, served a mission in South
America, and was married in the Los Angeles Temple. His three
brothers served missions and married in the temple, as did his
sister. His service to the Church has included responsibilities as
branch president, Gospel Doctrine teacher, elder's quorum teacher,
elders' quorum presidency and instructor, high priests' group
leadership and instructor, seminary teacher, and in two bishoprics.
After his separation from his wife of over 25
years, Buckley moved to Washington, DC, where he has attended his
local branch (congregation) as an openly gay man for over eight
years. His branch and its leaders have universally been kind and
welcoming. He has hosted missionaries for dinner, and the apartment
he shares with Mike serves as a safe and welcome oasis as they do
their teaching rounds.
What has changed? In
the late summer of 2005 two branches in Washington, DC, were
combined to form the Washington DC 3rd Ward, and a new bishop, Ross
Davidson, was brought in from outside the ward boundaries to lead the congregation. After a few weeks,
the new bishop called Buckley into his office after services for a
discussion. He
expressed his disapproval of the "lifestyle" Buckley had “chosen.”
He said it was his duty to report him to the stake president, Nolan
Archibald. That was the first indication that Buckley was not welcome in
full fellowship any longer and that the integrity of his family was
in jeopardy. See the
Chronology for the latest status of the case.
Why is this case important?
To our knowledge, this is the first time the Mormon
spouse of a legally married same-sex couple is faced with
excommunication. The implications for the LDS Church and for other
gay couples are huge. Pres. Archibald has taken the unheard-of step
of giving Buckley the opportunity to resign his membership rather
than face a Church disciplinary council. In fact, he has offered
that option three times. The Church is aware that the publicity stirred up
by this case will be harmful to its image and would prefer to avoid
the glare of the light of day by having Buckley resign and go away
quietly.
Why not just resign from the Church?
Buckley describes the situation: "I feel I have been forced to the
edge of a cliff, where I stand holding hands with my husband, my
daughter and her husband and our granddaughter, our ancestors, and gay Mormons who are being shunned throughout the
world. I will not leap off the
cliff, denying my heritage and my faith, to save the Church from
embarrassment. The Church is going to have to push me and live with
the consequences of their decision—in this life and in the
afterlife to come."
In his March 3 letter to President
Archibald, Buckley wrote:
You asked me this evening why I wanted to
be a member of a church that was so disapproving of my
relationship. That question stung me hard because it so
demonstrated your lack of understanding of the strength of my
faith. I explained that being a member of the Church is not like
belonging to a club. It is my history, my family heritage, my
testimony, and the faith to which I have devoted the last 58 years
of my life. I have prayed, fasted, and studied for decades, just
as you have, and feel that my petitions to my Heavenly Father
about my life and its direction are answered regularly. . . .
That’s how seriously I take my membership and my covenants.
What does Buckley want? He says, "I just want to be true
to my faith, worship quietly and peacefully in a place that is safe.
I don't ask the Church to change its doctrines or practices. I
just want us to be left alone again."
Outcomes and implications.
Buckley has repeatedly asked for the case to be dropped so he
and his family can get on with their lives. This continues to be his
plea. That request has been
repeatedly denied. If the case continues to go forward, Buckley will be
excommunicated. Excommunication means:
- Buckley's name will be removed from the records of the Mormon
Church.
- He will not be allowed to partake of the sacrament
(communion).
- He cannot pray in church, speak, teach, or otherwise
participate in church services. He may only attend meetings.
- He cannot tithe to the Church or donate to its charities.
- He cannot serve as a Home Teacher, ministering to and serving
families within his ward.
- He cannot use his ordained priesthood powers to bless his
family, including participating in the blessing and naming of his
first grandchild in April.
- He cannot enter to worship in Mormon temples. That means he
cannot attend family weddings.
- He cannot say he is a Mormon.
- When he dies, he cannot be buried in traditional white temple
clothing.
- The sacred ordinances that he participated in, that bind him
to his family members, ancestors, and progenitors for all
eternity, are severed.
Implications. It isn't just about Buckley and Mike's family. It
will be a sad signal to other gay Mormon married couples that their
families are not accepted as legitimate and never will be.
This goes for couples married in Massachusetts, Canada, The
Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, South Africa, and the countries that
are marching toward full marriage equality. It is also a sign that
the Church does not recognize all marriages conferred by many sovereign
nations and is, by extension, immune from the civil laws of those
countries with which it disagrees.
For more about Buckley and Michael, their stories, their
family, and their blog visit
www.BuckandMike.com.
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